There's a lot of it about.

The flu that is. So much so that the convent is running at half-strength. Sister Mary Carlsberg hasn't the health to shoplift so we're out of communion wine. Fortunately, I see balsamic vinegar at the back of the cupboard so all is not lost.

I'm fine, thank you for asking. I have the blood of a nun half my age. I got it on ebay. Rumours that I have sold my soul to Satan or Chris Soth have been greatly exaggerated.